Happy Together
by Cress
Summary: Joey:Chandler slash. Sequel to 'Our First Year.' Also features some Ross:Phoebe, Ross:Rachel, Rachel:Gunther, and Janice:Gunther interaction.
1. A New Life

[This is the sequel to "Our First Year", which continued the "Something to Talk About" storyline. Joey and Chandler have been lovers for a year, and now, since Joey's new play is successful, Chandler has agreed to quit his job and let Joey support him. Monica and Pete are still a couple because he never did the Ultimate Fighting Champion thing. Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are all single.  
  
These events take place from late season 3 to the end of season four.]  
  
  
  
  
  
"Hey," Joey said, as he woke up his newly unemployed boyfriend. "Isn't this better than waking up to your alarm?"  
  
"Yeah," Chandler smiled at him. "No more getting up early, no more wearing a suit and tie, no more messing with numbers in spreadsheets, and no more having to work late worrying about the WENUS."  
  
Joey laughed. "Who picks those abbreviations at that company?"  
  
"I don't know. Maybe somebody who's not getting enough sex."  
  
"That's definitely not you." Joey kissed him and crawled nearer under the covers.  
  
Chandler grinned. "Looks like somebody's WENUS just woke up. Ooh, there's goes another one!"  
  
They had a fun romp in bed that morning, before heading for the shower, where they fooled around a bit more. Finally they settled down, and Joey cooked some eggs for breakfast.  
  
"So," Chandler asked, "how long before you have to get to the theatre?"  
  
"Well, now we're not having daytime rehearsals anymore. I just have to be there every night when the curtain opens. Plus the weekend matinee."  
  
"So you'll be here all day?"  
  
"No, actually, Estelle's still getting me auditions for little things like commercials and stuff. Anything I can do without interfering with the play's schedule."  
  
"Oh, I didn't know that."  
  
"Yeah, I wanna keep earning as much money as possible, so you won't have to worry about paying the bills."  
  
"That's nice, Joey. I have a lot of money saved up from my job, too, in case we need it for emergencies or something."  
  
"Ooh, no emergencies! At least, try not to, because you don't have any health insurance anymore."  
  
"Oh yeah," Chandler realized. "I forgot that when I quit I lost my health benefits. Damn! Well, at least they'll transfer over my retirement account."  
  
"You're not sorry you quit, are you?"  
  
"No, it's okay. I mean, I quit that job once before already, before they lured me back with the promotion. If things get tough, I can get a part-time job to help us out, you know."  
  
"But I thought I was gonna support you?" Joey looked disappointed.  
  
"You will! I'll totally sponge off your paycheck for now. It's just, if we ever need to, can't we be a two-income household? It's not like I'd go back and get my old data-processing job. I could try something new and different. It could be fun."  
  
Joey shrugged. "Okay. But only if you actually like it. I'd rather borrow money from Monica's millionaire boyfriend than have you keep a job that you hate."  
  
"Really? I never knew you hated me hating my job so much."  
  
"Well, I wanna take care of you, you know, and make sure you're happy."  
  
"I'm already happy, just being with you." Chandler kissed him.  
  
***  
  
After breakfast, Joey and Chandler went through their bills and tried to figure out their new monthly budget based on Joey's expected income. For simplicity's sake, Chandler suggested that they get a joint bank account, so they went down to the bank together, and Joey proudly announced, "We want a joint account!"  
  
They signed off on everything, then Joey had to leave for an audition, so Chandler kissed him goodbye and went home alone.  
  
As Chandler puzzled over their finances, he realized ironically that he was still messing with numbers in a spreadsheet. Oh well, at least they were numbers he cared about. Like how much pizza and beer they consumed, how much money they spent on sports and other entertainment, and how much pet food the chick and the duck needed.  
  
He would have to break the news to Joey that they needed to stop getting so much take-out food, and not go out to games as much. Oh well, at least Joey could cook, and they could always watch sports on TV.  
  
The bigger problem would be the issue of health benefits. Sure, Chandler was pretty healthy now, having stopped smoking again and gained some weight, but even routine checkups cost money.  
  
***  
  
Joey came home for lunch, so Chandler caught him up on the budget.  
  
"Okay. I can, like, make a big batch of pasta or something on Sundays so that we'll have leftovers to reheat the rest of the week. And we can always make sandwiches too, or eat at Monica and Rachel's."  
  
"Yeah, I guess. Maybe I should learn how to cook too, so I can help out."  
  
"No, you can just wash all the dishes afterward."  
  
"Oh, right." He frowned. "You sure I can't just ask Monica to do them?"  
  
"You can try, but she's always pissed when Rachel doesn't do their dishes."  
  
"Yeah. Well, I guess it's scrubbing pots and pans for me."  
  
"Don't worry. It's not so bad. You'll still have time to do all your writing and stuff. By the way, what are you gonna write?"  
  
Chandler thought about it and realized that he didn't know. "Um, I'm not sure yet."  
  
"Well, you'll figure it out. I bet it's smart and funny, just like you." 


	2. Looking for Inspiration

Home alone, Chandler knew he was in trouble. He had told himself that he was going to be a writer, but he didn't really know what that meant. What exactly should he write?  
  
On his computer, Chandler typed up a list of possible things to write:  
  
1. something witty for *The New Yorker*  
2. a funny play  
3. a short story (about what?)  
4. sarcastic observations about life  
  
These vague notions were all based on the fact that jokes came naturally to him. Yet there was a difference between making snide remarks to his friends, and writing something for strangers to read and find amusing.  
  
"You got any ideas?" Chandler asked the chick and the duck. The birds chirped and quacked at him, but of course, he wasn't Dr. Doolittle. Hmm, what if he wrote a story about pet birds living in New York City and talking to each other? It could be a children's book, maybe sweet and heartwarming like *The Velveteen Rabbit*, but funny too.  
  
Chandler added that idea to his list, then began to compose the story. How hard could it be? However, Chandler went through several drafts, and didn't like any of them. Maybe he should get a copy of *The Velveteen Rabbit* to refresh his memory? Or maybe a children's book just wasn't his thing?  
  
Chandler sighed and felt in need of some advice. How did his mother ever decide to be a romance novelist, and once she did, how did she come up with plots and stuff?  
  
So he called her up and managed to catch her at home after another round of book tours.  
  
She was surprised to hear that he wanted to be a writer. "First you take after your dad, and now you want to take after me?"  
  
Chandler shrugged. "Well, you know, I thought I'd try my hand at fiction before I write some tell-all called, 'Nora Tyler Bing was my mom, and other horror stories.'"  
  
"Very funny, dear!" Still, she was flattered and gave him a few pointers about writing, then she asked, "You're still with that Joey what's-his-name?"  
  
"Yes, Mom. It's Joey Tribbiani. You might have heard, he's in the play, *Boxing Day*."  
  
"Oh yes! Listen, can he get me tickets to that? I could drop in to New York, let you meet my new beau, and go to the play. Plus, I can see if this Joey is treating you right. I mean, you didn't have to put out just because he was your roommate."  
  
"I know." He rolled his eyes.  
  
***  
  
When Joey came home, Chandler told him about his mom coming to visit again.  
  
"Cool! Hey, if I get your dad tickets too--I mean, for a totally different night--would he come up from Vegas? I'd like to meet him face to face, instead of all this calling and emailing."  
  
"Sure, we can ask him."  
  
So Chandler endured another weekend with his mom, and the embarrassment of her constantly flirting with her latest boy-toy. She at least liked Joey's play and could see that Chandler and Joey were genuinely happy together.  
  
"I'm sorry for my skepticism before, honey. Both your father and I haven't had very stable boyfriends, as you know, so the thought of you actually being with somebody for, what, over a year now, was a shock to me. I'm actually very proud of you, honey."  
  
"Thanks, Mom."  
  
"And when your dad comes to visit--tell him how hot my boyfriend is!" Some things never changed. 


	3. Life is a Soap Opera

After discovering an old photo in a yearbook, Phoebe asked the gang to come along on a weekend trip to the beach, because she wanted to meet her mother's high school friend Phoebe Abbott, who lived in Montauk.  
  
Ross's new girlfriend Bonnie couldn't come because of work, and Pete had another business trip, so it would be just the six of them, in a beach house given to Phoebe by one of her massage clients.  
  
Joey tried to take Chandler's mind off his writer's block by playing in the sand, and Monica constantly called Pete on the cell phone that he had bought for her, until he gently asked her to make her calls less frequent. "Sorry, honey. I love you!"  
  
Rachel and Ross flirted, until Bonnie unexpectedly arrived, then Rachel became sulky and jealous. How typical, that Rachel suddenly wanted Ross again, just because he was happy with somebody else. When Bonnie mentioned how she used to shave her head, Rachel convinced her to go bald again.  
  
Ross found out and tried to yell at her, but Rachel said she still loved him and even kissed him. He was torn, so he told Joey and Chandler about it.  
  
Joey was happy for Ross. "I'm telling ya, you guys are totally getting back together!"  
  
"That's not true! I mean, she doesn't even know what she wants! She said she still couldn't forgive me for Chloe."  
  
Chandler replied, "Oh, well then, you don't want the indecision. You gotta talk to her, work something out. If she's not over that, how are you two ever gonna move on? The foundation of a good, committed relationship is being able to trust each other, and..." He broke into laughter. "I can't believe it, I'm becoming a gay Ann Landers. Hey, that's what I should do: write an advice column called Dear Auntie Chandler!"  
  
"Hey!" Joey smiled and pat his back encouragingly.  
  
Ross coughed. "Hello? My problem with Rachel?"  
  
"Oh yeah!" Chandler cleared his throat and became serious. "It seems to me, that you gotta back away from Rachel for now. I mean, you're with Bonnie, and you don't want to make a rash decision, only to find out that Rachel's not really ready to take you back. You don't need that kind of hurt."  
  
Just then, Bonnie returned from her midnight swim in the ocean. "Hey!"  
  
Chandler jumped when he saw her bald head. "Ah!"  
  
She said goodnight to everybody and kissed Ross before she went upstairs to their bedroom.  
  
"There is not one hair on that head," Chandler remarked, horrified.  
  
Ross tried to be optimistic. "It'll grow back, right? Bonnie's really fun, and she's cool, and I'm finally moving on, you know? I mean getting over Rachel was so ugh! and I'm finally feeling sane again."  
  
"Still," Joey counter-argued, "If you love Rachel, don't you wanna find out if there's a chance for you two? I mean, if I ever somehow lost Chandler, I'd do anything to get him back."  
  
"Yeah?" Chandler gazed fondly into his eyes.  
  
"Yeah." He kissed him.  
  
Ross groaned with indecision again. "Oh, I used to have that with Rachel! But--but if I go up there, and I kiss her, and it doesn't work out... Do I really wanna put myself through that again?"  
  
Joey frowned. "I'm sorry, man. I shouldn't have brought that up."  
  
"No, no. It's okay." He sat down. "I gotta think this over. Thanks anyway for the advice."  
  
"We're here for you." Chandler pat his shoulder.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Joey asked, "You want us to stay?"  
  
"Nah, I've already talked your ears off about this. Just, just go back to whatever you were doing before I interrupted you."  
  
"Okay!" Joey pulled Chandler with him down to the beach, where they ran and splashed in the waves in the moonlight.  
  
Ross turned away when he saw them start to make out and sink down on the beach towel they had brought.  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, Phoebe shockingly found out that Phoebe Abbott, not Lily, was her biological mother. Phoebe yelled at her birthmother for abandoning her and having everybody lie to her, then stormed out.  
  
When she returned to the beach house and told Monica, Joey, and Chandler what had happened, they were stunned and confused. Then Phoebe and Monica went upstairs to talk things over.  
  
Joey and Chandler looked at each other.  
  
"What is *up* with this beach trip?" Chandler asked. "First all this stuff with Ross and Rachel, and now Phoebe discovers weird stuff about her parents!"  
  
"Sounds like a soap opera," Joey shrugged.  
  
"Or an episode of Jerry Springer!" He laughed, then realized something. "Hey, it's like a trashy novel! I should totally write about this!"  
  
"What? You sure?"  
  
"Yeah! I'll change the names and some of the details, you know? Come on, I'll just try it, and if it's no good, I'll throw it away."  
  
Joey shrugged and followed him upstairs. "And you know, there should be a sexy actor who plays a doctor on TV--and they *don't* drop him down an elevator shaft!" 


	4. The Choice

Ross came up to Rachel's bedroom that night and decided to talk to her. He sat down on the bed, and she looked hopeful.  
  
"Rachel, um, you said that *maybe* want to get back together. I--I can't put all my hopes on 'maybe'. If you aren't even sure what you want from me, then you don't need to be sabotaging me and Bonnie, okay?"  
  
"But--"  
  
"No! I mean, you did this same thing when I was with Julie, Rachel! And even when I broke up with Julie for you, you got mad at me about the list I made--"  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"I know, I know. You hate the list. You think I should have been able to make the decision based on my gut feeling. And yet, here you are now, not even able to make a gut decision about whether or not you want me back."  
  
Rachel pouted. "Ross! But I feel..."  
  
"What, Rachel, what? You don't ever complete the sentence, except to kiss me and get my feelings all twisted around. I mean, ugh! Look, you eventually forgot about the list with the prom video, and we finally got together. Maybe someday, somehow, you'll forgive me for sleeping with Chloe, but until then, I'm not going to play these games with you. I'm sorry, Rachel. Good night."  
  
Rachel watched him leave, then curled up on her bed and started to cry.  
  
***  
  
So Ross returned to his and Bonnie's bedroom, and tried not to flinch at the sight of her shaved head.  
  
"Hey, what took you so long?"  
  
"I, um, I had to tell Rachel something, and now I'm done." He nodded to himself. "I'm completely done with her."  
  
"Okay," Bonnie shrugged and pulled him onto the bed with her.  
  
Ross stopped her and sat back nervously. "Hey, um, can we--can we not do this tonight?"  
  
"Why? What's wrong?"  
  
"It's just, um--I don't want to be uncool or anything, but I'm having trouble getting used to your bald head. I mean, I'll get over it, but for now..."  
  
Bonnie frowned and folded her arms. "Huh! I never thought you'd be so superficial, Ross. It's just my head. It's natural. Everybody's born bald."  
  
"That's not true. Some newborns have hair."  
  
"Fine, but I'm your girlfriend and this is how I want to look. I wouldn't complain if you wanted to change your look."  
  
"I know. It's just, um, I'm gonna miss all your pretty hair."  
  
"If you like my hair so much, then here!" She took out a bunch of long blond hair from a drawer, held together by a rubber band. "I was gonna give it to one of those charity places that makes wigs for cancer patients, but maybe it means more to you!" she scoffed.  
  
Ross put the hair back in the drawer. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Good. You just have to get used to my head this way. Who knows how long I'll keep it shaved this time? Maybe until winter, at least."  
  
"Really?" he grimaced.  
  
"Yeah! Now come here!" She pulled him close. "You're still new to this kinky stuff, but I'll teach you to love it, just like you loved all the stuff we've been doing before."  
  
"Okay." He reluctantly tried to kiss her and make love while ignoring her bald head, but Bonnie insisted on him celebrating her baldness and touching it and finding it erotic. Ross couldn't do it, so she kicked him out of the room for the night.  
  
He went downstairs to sleep on the couch. 


	5. The Odd Couple

In the morning, when the gang saw Ross sleeping downstairs, they asked him what had happened, and he told him.  
  
"Man! You lost both girls," Joey said.  
  
"Not really. I think I could still work something out with Bonnie."  
  
"Good luck," Chandler said. Fortunately, he had already nixed the advice column idea, in favor of pursuing his trashy novel.  
  
Ross went upstairs to talk to Bonnie again, while Rachel came down and needed to talk things over with Monica.  
  
Joey and Chandler asked Phoebe more about her birthmother, but she didn't want to talk about it. The guys convinced her to hang out at the beach with them so that she wouldn't sit moping all day.  
  
Joey amused himself by digging a big hole in the sand, and Chandler tried his best jokes to cheer Phoebe up, but she still moped.  
  
Finally everybody packed to go, and they had an uncomfortable ride home. Joey and Chandler tried to make enough conversation for everybody, then drifted into silence.  
  
***  
  
Back in New York, Ross and Bonnie still argued, and after another week, they broke up. Ross was disappointed, but maybe Bonnie was simply too weird for him all along. So he dated other women and kept clear of Rachel. He figured that if and when Rachel was ready to forgive him for Chloe, then she should come to him.  
  
Wanting to spite Ross, Rachel dated a bunch of guys to make him jealous, but Ross never took the bait anymore, which frustrated her.  
  
At least Phoebe and her birthmom made up with each other, and Pete and Monica were still a happy couple.  
  
Chandler continued writing his fictionalized story about his friends. "Hey, Joey, do you think Phoebe and Ross would make a good couple?"  
  
"What?" Joey looked up from his cooking.  
  
Chandler pointed to his computer. "My story. My characters Phyllis and Russ are starting to get all friendly here, and I'm thinking about hooking them up."  
  
Joey tried to picture it. "It sounds weird."  
  
"I know, but I think it might work. I mean, remember how Phoebe dated that scientist guy David, who moved to Russia? He was a physicist, and Ross is a paleontologist, you know, but I'm thinking their personalities are kind of similar, with that geeky charm of theirs. Maybe Phyllis finds comfort in Russ, and Russ is trying to get over his ex-girlfriend Rochelle. Then, you know, Rochelle gets jealous again and there's juicy drama."  
  
Joey shrugged. "I guess. But what if Phoebe and Ross read it and don't like what you wrote about them?"  
  
"Well, it's supposed to be fiction. I'm not trying to copy everybody's lives exactly. If I did, then I'd never have an ending for the Russ and Rochelle mess."  
  
"You're telling me!"  
  
***  
  
Chandler went ahead with his Phyllis and Russ idea, and when it started to solidify, he let Phoebe and Ross read it. They were surprised, but made no objection to the plot twist, so long as it was done tastefully, without explicit sex. Chandler assured them that he wasn't going all out like his mother did in her erotic novels.  
  
As they walked away from the apartment together, Phoebe leaned over to Ross and whispered, "You remember that night, huh?"  
  
Ross nodded and smiled goofily at her. "Yeah." They were both thinking about their almost-affair years ago. The night that Carol had announced she was a lesbian and wanted a divorce, Phoebe had tried to comfort Ross by sleeping with him. They changed their mind when sex on a pool table proved to be awkward.  
  
"So you ever think about, um, going through with that?"  
  
Ross blushed and stammered, "Wh-what, you mean--" he pointed at them both. "You and me? Seriously?"  
  
"Sure, why not? You're not with Rachel now, or getting over Carol. It might be fun."  
  
"Well, I, um... Wouldn't it spoil our friendship or something?"  
  
Phoebe shrugged. "Look, if you don't want to, you don't want to. I guess we don't want Rochelle to get mad at us, either, not if you want to get your lobster back eventually."  
  
He nodded, and sighed. "I don't know how she's ever gonna forgive me for Chloe, though. She's still feeling spiteful right now."  
  
"I can try talking to her, but it may take awhile."  
  
"Thanks, Pheebs." He hugged her. "You're a great friend."  
  
"Yeah," she smiled. "And you have a cute tushie." She squeezed his butt and made him jump a little.  
  
"Whoa!" He laughed nervously, then cleared his throat. "Well, um, I'll buy you a cup of coffee downstairs. After you."  
  
She went ahead of him, still smiling. 


	6. Goodbye to Old Friends

Chandler finally finished his story and went through many, many edits, but he kept getting rejections from publishers. He felt as bad as Joey did in the early years of his career.  
  
"It's okay," Joey soothed him. "Hey, maybe you can make a movie script out of it, and I can get Estelle to send it to producers. Who knows? I could end up acting in it, huh?"  
  
Chandler tried to stay positive, but he worried about their finances constantly. He kept a strict eye on their monthly budget, trying to only spend Joey's new money from the play, rather than dipping into any of their savings.  
  
Soon Chandler came up with a new list of things to do to save money.  
  
Joey read the list with dismay. "What? Sell the foosball table? Sell the entertainment center? Give the chick and the duck away to a farm. No, they could get eaten! Come on, Chandler! Tell me it's not this bad."  
  
"Well, not yet, but I'm just trying to plan ahead for the future."  
  
"Don't plan like this, okay? I mean, we can sell some of the stuff we've got stored in my room, if you want. Or," he gulped, "sell our big TV and the leather chairs."  
  
"You sure? You bought that stuff with your *Days of Our Lives* money."  
  
"I know, but I also bought your bracelet with it. We're not getting rid of these, are we?"  
  
Chandler wished he could pawn his tacky gold bracelet, but he knew how much their matching jewelry meant to Joey. "No, of course not." He hugged Joey close.  
  
"Good!" Joey answered. "You scared me."  
  
"I'm sorry, Joe. I guess I just panicked there with the list."  
  
"It's okay. Don't worry. I know me getting fired from *Days of Our Lives* was rough, but I'm not going to do something stupid like that, not with you depending you on me. Besides, I've had some great auditions lately, for like movies and stuff, when my play ends."  
  
***  
  
Eventually, though, the guys had to get rid of their pet birds anyway. The chick turned out not to be a female after all, and it matured into a rooster, who crowed at dawn. Many people in the apartment building complained, and Mr. Treeger informed the guys that they weren't allowed to have pets, so the duck had to go too.  
  
Chandler was able to find a petting zoo to take the birds, and they promised to come visit the birds as often as they could. Joey was sad when they said goodbye.  
  
Chandler tried to cheer him up. "It's better this way. I mean, at the zoo, they'll be able to get hens and lady ducks for some bird lovin' you know? The interspecies romance wasn't really working out."  
  
"Okay, but I'll miss them."  
  
"Me too." 


	7. Going Dutch

Gunther tried to ask Rachel out, but she was too busy to notice, as usual. She interviewed for a promotion at Bloomingdale's, only to be sabotaged by her infuriating boss Joanna.  
  
Everybody celebrated Ross's birthday with a big hoopla at Monica's restaurant, and Ross brought along a date named Sherry, who was an insect-specialist at the museum. They were becoming really serious now.  
  
Still furious, despite Phoebe's attempts to calm her down, Rachel dated a college kid to make Ross jealous, but the kid stole money from her. Frustrated, Rachel decided to ask Gunther out on a date, and he of course accepted, not realizing that Rachel just figured that she could trust Gunther not to steal from her.  
  
Gunther obliviously gave Rachel a Dutch pet name, and showered her with presents and affection, even though she had yet to kiss him, when Ross wasn't around to see.  
  
Since Monica and Pete's restaurant was such a success, Pete decided to try a more personal partnership with her. On a special romantic night, he asked Monica to marry him, and she said yes. They immediately started planning the wedding as eagerly as they had planned the restaurant.  
  
***  
  
Joey's play ended its run at the theatre, so Joey accepted a new movie role. He continued auditioning for a lot of parts now. Maybe he wasn't back to "Dr. Drake Ramoray" status, but he was getting somewhere at last, and the money was good.  
  
Chandler asked Joey something. "Hey, um, you know how Monica and Pete are getting married in May? Do you think, um, do you think we should do that too?"  
  
Joey looked up from his cooking. "You're serious?"  
  
Chandler shrugged and kicked the rug casually. "I mean, we've been together longer than them."  
  
"Yeah, but you shouldn't feel any pressure just because of them, you know? I like us the way we are. Don't do anything you're not ready for."  
  
"I know, Joe." He kissed Joey and squeezed his hand. "But what if I am ready? Would you want to? I mean, we wouldn't even have to plan anything, you know? We could just drive up to Vermont sometime and elope."  
  
Joey smiled. "Vermont, huh? Oh, wait! I don't know where I put my passport."  
  
Chandler blinked, then burst out laughing and hugged him close.  
  
Joey still pondered it as he kept cooking. "Hey, how do I convert dollars into Vermont money?"  
  
Joey's idea that Vermont was another country turned out not to be so far off. When Chandler looked into the matter on the internet, he learned that Vermont civil unions granted some of the legal rights of marriage, and had no residency requirement, but unless he and Joey actually lived in Vermont, there was no guarantee that their home state would recognize the union.  
  
No wonder Carol and Susan just had a wedding for friends and family, then registered to be "domestic partners" in New York. Chandler would have to ask them for some advice on how to do that. 


	8. Forgiveness

Meanwhile, Ross bought Sherry an extravagant birthday present, and Rachel got sulky and remembered the expensive pin that Ross once bought her.  
  
"What do you care? You're with Gunther." But then Phoebe realized what was going on. "No! Rachel, how could you?"  
  
Rachel tried to shush her. "Mind your own business, Phoebe!"  
  
"No! Gunther really thinks you like him, Rachel. You can't treat people like this. This isn't high school!"  
  
"What do you know about it? You never went to high school."  
  
"Well, I've heard enough from you five to feel like I was there. From what Ross and Monica have said, you could be a real cheerleading bitch!"  
  
Rachel stormed out.  
  
Phoebe informed Gunther that Rachel was using him (unsuccessfully) to make Ross jealous. He didn't believe her at first, but then he saw it for himself when Rachel still didn't want to sleep with him after the twentieth date. "Do you actually like me or not?" he demanded.  
  
Rachel bluffed yet again, so Gunther confronted her with what Phoebe had said, and he dumped Rachel.  
  
He looked so hurt that Rachel realized now how cruel she'd been to lead him on and toy with his feelings. She tried to apologize, but he just threw her out of Central Perk and called her something bad in Dutch.  
  
***  
  
Sherry spent Thanksgiving out of town with her family, and Ross kept calling her to keep in touch.  
  
Rachel kept calling Gunther too, and left numerous messages on his machine, but he wouldn't answer. "And the cold silence he gives me if I try to see him at Central Perk! The worst part is that I know I completely deserve it."  
  
Everybody expressed sympathy, but knew better than to get involved. They concentrated on dinner, the parade, and the football.  
  
***  
  
After more failed attempts to reach Gunther, Rachel put down the phone and sat there depressed. Then she asked to speak to Ross in private.  
  
"I forgive you."  
  
"What?"  
  
"For sleeping with Chloe. I forgive you. I mean, I just did an awful, awful thing to Gunther, and I realized that I can't keep holding a grudge about Chloe. Now, don't--don't use this as an excuse to cheat on your girlfriend, but um, but I just know from personal experience that being jealous about somebody you love can make you do stupid, horrible things without thinking."  
  
Ross blinked at her warily. "Somebody you love? You mean, me?"  
  
"Um." She looked nervous, then quietly admitted, "Yeah, I still love you, Ross, and I'm so horribly jealous of you and Sherry."  
  
"Rach, I--"  
  
"I know, I know! You're with Sherry now, and I'm not gonna do what I did when you were with Bonnie and with Julie. I didn't say 'I forgive you' to mess with your head or to make you take me back. I said it because I mean it, and I want us to just be friends again, like we used to be. I won't interfere with you and Sherry, I promise. I've learned my lesson."  
  
"I see," he answered. "Then, well... thank you for forgiving me. I guess I was right that someday you would forgive me, but I'm sorry that Gunther had to suffer for it to happen."  
  
"I know," she nodded. "I still have to find some way to earn his forgiveness, let alone figure out how to forgive myself. Anyway," she sniffled, "you go back to calling Sherry, and I'll try Gunther's answering machine again."  
  
"Okay. Good luck, Rachel."  
  
She nodded and dialed Gunther's number again. 


	9. Rachel In a Box

Ross continued dating Sherry and found that Rachel was true to her word about being just friends with him. Everybody was surprised by how mature Rachel was acting.  
  
Gunther still avoided Rachel at the coffeehouse, and she searched for some big gesture to make it up to him.  
  
Phoebe suggested living in a box outside Gunther's door. "Yeah, show him how desperate you are. Gunther's always been moved by my stories about living homeless in a box."  
  
Monica said that was too extreme. "You just need something to prove that you're no longer a spoiled princess who completely disregards other people's feelings."  
  
"Are we talking about Gunther hating me, or you hating me?"  
  
"I've got it! You throw Gunther a big party. Invite all his best friends. Serve his favorite food. Show him you know him and care about him."  
  
"One problem," Rachel said. "I don't know any of his friends or any of his favorite stuff. I didn't pay any attention to him when we were dating. Oh, I'm awful!"  
  
"It's okay, it's okay! Phoebe, you work with Gunther's roommate Jasmine. You can get her to tell us personal stuff."  
  
"Um, Gunther's not living with Jasmine anymore. She moved out and, like, started giving cruise ship massages. She's away on a cruise now, and I can't contact her."  
  
"Oh." Monica frowned. "Do any of us really talk to Gunther besides Phoebe?"  
  
"Apparently not!" Phoebe was proud of herself for being a polite human being.  
  
"Oh, I know!" Monica said. "Just do an early Christmas party, you know, and do it Dutch style or something. Do you know anything about Dutch Christmases?"  
  
"I know Sinter Klaas, from *Miracle on 34th Street*. What's the song the Dutch girl sang?"  
  
Doing their best with what little they did know, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel threw a surprise party for Gunther. Unfortunately, the party was a disaster because they confused some Dutch words, so Rachel resorted to living in a box, in the hallway just outside Gunther's apartment door.  
  
She stayed there for days, even missing work. (Her career was pretty stagnant, anyway, because of Joanna's sabotage. There were rumors that her department would soon be eliminated.)  
  
Gunther tried to have Rachel kicked out of the building, but she stubbornly kept coming back, and said that not even a restraining order was going to stop her from groveling for his forgiveness. Gunther grudgingly forgave her and pulled her out of the box.  
  
"In a way I guess I should thank you, Rachel, for making me see how unrealistic and dumb my crush on you was. I guess I can finally move on and find somebody else to love. Somebody who actually loves me."  
  
"Whoever she turns out to be, Gunther, I know she'll be a lucky woman."  
  
"You don't have to say that."  
  
"No, no, I mean it. And if you, um, want some help finding a new woman, I can set you up with somebody at my work."  
  
"Okay," he shrugged.  
  
They shook hands and were friends, finally. Rachel folded up her box, and hurried home to shower. 


	10. Weekend Trips

Sherry spent Christmas being lovey-dovey with Ross, and mentioned that she had to go away for a few months on a lecture tour in England about insects. "But the thing is, I don't know if I can move to London and leave my cute Ross-asaurus behind."  
  
"No, no! Don't pass it up for me. Come on, we can call each other all the time, and I can come visit you some weekends."  
  
"Oh, that's so sweet! Monica, you have the sweetest brother!" They rubbed noses and kissed each other adorably.  
  
Chandler cleared his throat. "People still in the room."  
  
Ross took the hint, and headed off to a movie with Sherry.  
  
Rachel looked sad.  
  
"You okay?" Monica asked.  
  
"Yeah. It's just hard. But I promised him I wasn't gonna do anything, so..." she sighed heavily. "With her in England, at least I won't have to see them together all the time. Just warn me when he's on the phone making those smoochy noises, okay?"  
  
Phoebe patted Rachel's shoulder. "There, there. You need to find somebody to get you over Ross, that's all."  
  
Rachel composed herself. "No, I just, I should focus on work. I gotta get my career moving again, you know, and with Monica's wedding coming up, there's all this maid of honor stuff to do. I'll be fine."  
  
Things looked up for her eventually. At work, Rachel got demoted to Personal Shopper and met a handsome customer named Joshua, who actually made her forget about Ross for once. She was nervous about asking him out, though, because he was only recently divorced, so Phoebe helped her out.  
  
***  
  
Chandler missed Joey while he went on a three-day fishing trip with his dad, so he decided to do some father-son bonding too by going to Vegas.  
  
Chandler's dad picked him up at the airport, in drag as usual. Mr. Bing had come to New York to see Joey's play, and now his son was reciprocating the visit.  
  
"My boy!" Mr. Bing hugged Chandler. "How's your hunk of a boyfriend doing?"  
  
"Great. He's got a part in a Charlton Heston movie now."  
  
They spent a short but fun weekend discussing Chandler's new writing career, and his intention to get married to Joey someday.  
  
"Really? I'm so happy for you. Are you going to invite your mother?"  
  
"That's what I'm not sure about. If I invite her, what about you? I don't think you two will be able to get along."  
  
Mr. Bing nodded. "I don't think so, either."  
  
"And Joey's parents have accepted us, you know, but there's the issue of his dad still having a mistress, and whether to invite her."  
  
"I understand. We parents aren't exactly making this easy on you two, are we? You know, what? You can just send me a video and maybe honeymoon here in Vegas so that I can at least congratulate you. That way, we can avoid the whole clash between me and your mother."  
  
"Really, Dad?"  
  
"Sure. I mean, it's more important that you and Joey are together that day, and happy. Parents are optional."  
  
Chandler hugged his dad. 


	11. Janice Returns

Monica answered a knock on her door and discovered Janice standing in the hallway.  
  
"Hey, Miss Engaged!" Janice waved a copy of the newspaper announcement and put out her arms for a hug. "Congratulations!"  
  
"Uh, thank you!" Monica hugged her, but was still a bit shocked to see her. "Wow, um, you didn't have to come all this way, Janice! You could've just called."  
  
"What, and not get a chance to see your ring?" She held up Monica's hand and eagerly inspected the diamond. "Oh my God! It's gorgeous!"  
  
"Thank you!" Monica giggled. She loved to brag about being engaged, and she couldn't do it with her friends anymore. They ran from her now.  
  
So Monica invited Janice to come inside and offered her some juice.  
  
"Are Joey and Chandler still, um, you know?"  
  
Monica nodded. "Yeah."  
  
Janice saw her expression and waved dismissively. "Oh, don't you worry about me. I'm over him." She laughed cheerfully. "But come on, tell me about Mr. Millionaire! What's he like? How did you meet?"  
  
They chatted happily for hours, and Monica saw what Chandler meant when he once said of Janice, "She was smart, she was pretty, and she honestly cared about me."  
  
Janice had many stories about her little girl, too, and showed all the pictures in her wallet.  
  
"Oh, I want a baby just like that! Pete promised that we could start trying for a baby immediately." Monica also got Janice caught up on all her friends' lives.  
  
"Writing, huh? I never thought Chandler would quit that job, ever. I guess Joey really changed him."  
  
Chandler suddenly came in. "Hey, can I borrow--?" Then he saw Janice. "Janice!"  
  
"Hi," she said shyly. "I just came to, um, congratulate Monica on the engagement."  
  
"Oh. Well, um, great to see you again. Are you doing okay? Did you get divorced from Gary?"  
  
"Yeah, we tried to get back together for a little while, but it didn't work."  
  
"That's too bad. Are you seeing anybody?"  
  
"No, um, I'm just focusing on being a mother."  
  
"Well, that's good too." After a pause, he decided to give her a hug for old times' sake. "I'll see you around."  
  
"Wait, Chandler!" Monica caught up to him and whispered, "I was thinking about inviting Janice to my wedding. That wouldn't make you uncomfortable, would it?"  
  
"No, it's fine. Bye, Janice!" He waved to her and went out the door.  
  
***  
  
After Monica invited Janice to the wedding, she accepted and said she better go home, since her baby-sitter was waiting. But when she went downstairs, she stopped in at the coffeehouse and had to take a breath.  
  
"Why did he have to hug me, the heartbreaker?" she asked herself. "Why did I have to say I'm focusing on being a mother? What a great way to tell him that I'm pathetic!"  
  
Gunther noticed her mumbling to herself at the counter. "Excuse me, but you look familiar to me. Do I know you?"  
  
"I'm Janice, Chandler's ex-girlfriend. He's broken up with me a few times here."  
  
"Oh, right!" He cleared his throat and tried to overcome his nervousness. "Listen, are you seeing anybody right now?"  
  
"No, okay! It turns out I'm not completely over my ex-boyfriend turning gay."  
  
Gunther looked disappointed. "Okay, um, I just--I just wanted to ask you out, but if you're not ready..."  
  
She looked surprised. "You what?"  
  
"I was too forward, I shouldn't have--"  
  
"No, um, did you really mean it? You're asking me out? It's not 'cause I look so pathetic here?"  
  
"You're not pathetic. I think you're pretty."  
  
Janice smiled at him and impulsively kissed him. "You've got yourself a date, Mister! Oh, um, what's your name again?"  
  
They turned out to be quite happy together, and Gunther didn't even freak out when Janice told him that she was a single mom. Janice wanted to take things slow, of course, to make sure that she was completely over Chandler.  
  
"I mean, I want to be totally fair to you, and to my little girl, too."  
  
Gunther was patient and happy to know that Janice thought about what was fair to him. Janice seemed genuinely interested at least, and Phoebe's pep talks to get him over Rachel had really helped. 


	12. Bad News

While packing, Ross called Sherry to confirm the fact that he was coming for another visit to London, but she sounded weird and said, "We need to talk."  
  
It seemed that Sherry had fallen in love with a British guy whom she'd met on a previous lecture tour, and now she was breaking up with Ross.  
  
The gang was just as shocked when he told them.  
  
"Oh!" Monica realized suddenly. "That's why she was always too busy to talk to you lately."  
  
Ross nodded and was heartbroken. "I can't believe it. We've been dating for months, and somehow this Colin guy swoops in and takes her from me. It's like Carol and Susan. It's like--" He stopped and did not mention Rachel, who was in the room. Anyway, he had been wrong about Rachel and Mark. "I thought I did everything right this time. I thought I gave her space, and her career."  
  
Phoebe hugged Ross close and put his head on her shoulder.  
  
Rachel was surprised, since Phoebe never seemed particularly close to Ross. Joey, Chandler, and Monica soon made it a group hug, and Rachel stayed on the outside, not in direct contact with Ross.  
  
Rachel knew that she couldn't risk being that close to Ross right now. She was dating Joshua, but her feelings for Ross could easily return if she let her guard down. It was healthier to move on, and she didn't want to end up being Ross's rebound fling, so she focused on just being a friend for now.  
  
***  
  
Phoebe was more than a friend that night, when, unknown to the rest of the gang, she convinced Ross to sleep with her. After that comforting embrace, they just lay in his bed, naked and watching each other in the darkness.  
  
Then Ross rolled on his side and moaned miserably. "When am I gonna get it right, Phoebe? When am I gonna find a woman who's not a lesbian, who doesn't shave her head, who doesn't cheat on me?"  
  
Phoebe squeezed his shoulder. "It's gonna happen again. You and Rachel."  
  
He turned to her questioningly.  
  
"Yeah," she nodded. "Eventually this Joshua guy is gonna be history. You're gonna both be ready for each other, and you're gonna be so much better because of how you've both grown. Don't worry, Ross. You're lobsters, remember?"  
  
He smiled half-heartedly. "Lobsters."  
  
"You worry about getting over Sherry now, okay?" She kissed his lips again. 


	13. Forever

One day, as Joey was reading a new movie script, Chandler cleared his throat to get his attention.  
  
Joey turned and saw Chandler take a small box out of his coat pocket and open it, revealing a ring inside.  
  
"I, um," Chandler shrugged, "I don't know if I'm supposed to get down on one knee for this, or uh..."  
  
Joey stood up and came nearer. "Y-you really mean this? We're not just talking about it anymore?"  
  
"I mean it. You know, our second anniversary is coming up, and I thought we could make it even more special. So, um," he cleared his throat again. "Will you marry me and stuff?"  
  
"Yeah!" Joey kissed him passionately. "Damn it! I should've got you a ring too."  
  
"It's okay. I took care of that." He pulled another box out of his other pocket. "They're a set, you see, and I had them engraved, too. Look."  
  
They took the rings out of their boxes and read the inscriptions. "Joey and Chandler forever."  
  
Joey sniffled a little. "Let's put 'em on!"  
  
They did so, and after further kissing and hugging, Chandler added quietly, "Hey, um, we should stop wearing the bracelets now. You know, so people will notice the rings first."  
  
"Okay!"  
  
Chandler smiled and was happy that he chose both the rings. Plain gold and not tacky at all. They were perfect. Just like Joey.  
  
***  
  
The guys soon called all the gang together and announced that they were going to elope this weekend, on their second anniversary. Carol and Susan had secretly advised Chandler and got a minister for them.  
  
"Wow! That's so great!"  
  
"Oh, you got rings. Let me see!"  
  
Only Monica didn't congratulate them. "How could you steal my thunder?!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Come on, me and Pete are getting married in less than a month, and you just had to beat me to the punch."  
  
"We're not trying to steal your thunder! It's our anniversary."  
  
"Lighten up, Monica. You're marrying a millionaire."  
  
"Okay, I'm sorry. I guess I'm stressed out about all the big wedding plans." She joined the group hug. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Good. Now we know it's last minute, but we want all of you to be there if you can. If not, we're videotaping the ceremony anyway for our parents."  
  
"Of course we'll be there!"  
  
"It's two of our best friends!"  
  
***  
  
The wedding was small and simple, but beautiful. Their friends were all there, including Carol and Susan, with Ben. Joey and Chandler looked great in their tuxedos and couldn't take their eyes off each other as they recited their vows.  
  
Then the minister pronounced them "husband and husband" and they kissed.  
  
Their friends cheered and took many pictures of them and with them.  
  
At the reception, Chandler commented on the minister's words. "When he said 'husband and husband,' it got me thinking. What are we now? We're not the Bings, we're not the Tribbianis, and I never liked hyphenated names."  
  
"Oh, oh!" Phoebe was inspired. "You could be the Tribbinganis!"  
  
"Hey!" Joey smiled, but Chandler didn't look as pleased. "Come on, it's cute. Or it could be just the Tribbings, huh?"  
  
"I prefer just Joey and Chandler."  
  
"Oh!" Phoebe spoke up again. "With first names, it could be Joandler or Chanoey!"  
  
After the reception ended, the guys headed to the airport, for their flight to Vegas, and the gang wished them a happy honeymoon.  
  
***  
  
That night in their hotel room, Joey set up the video camera on a tripod again, but this time for a private video. He placed the camera to the side of the bed, so that Chandler wouldn't be self-conscious as they made love.  
  
"You sure you put in a new tape?" Chandler asked as he waited on the bed. "I don't want to accidentally send this video out to our parents."  
  
"I'm sure! I already labeled that one and sent it to be duplicated."  
  
"Okay, I'm sorry for doubting you." Chandler shrugged nervously. "I just, you know, never did this kind of stuff before."  
  
Joey smiled knowingly. "There's lots of stuff you never did before me." He finished focusing the camera, then started the recording and hurried to join Chandler on the bed.  
  
After kissing his new husband, Joey stopped to wave at the camera: "Check it out! It's our honeymoon!" He hugged Chandler and smiled. "I love saying that--our honeymoon."  
  
Chandler laughed softly. "It's our second anniversary too."  
  
Joey nodded and looked into his eyes. "I love you."  
  
His husband returned the gaze. "I love you too."  
  
Joey kissed him. "Happy anniversary, Mr. Tribbing."  
  
Chandler laughed. "Happy honeymoon, Mr. Tribbing."  
  
They kissed lovingly and started undressing, until they wore nothing but their wedding rings. Soon they sealed their union with more than words. 


	14. Lobsters Everywhere

Meanwhile, Monica and Rachel worked on the final preparations for Monica's wedding.  
  
"I'm gonna really miss this apartment, you know, when I go move in with Pete."  
  
"Oh, that's right! I keep forgetting that you're gonna go and leave me all alone here. I'm gonna miss you so much!" She hugged Monica.  
  
"I'll miss you, too."  
  
"It's gonna feel so empty here."  
  
"Maybe you can ask Phoebe to move in with you. Or maybe a few months from now, you could ask Joshua to move in."  
  
"Maybe." She shrugged.  
  
Rachel started feeling blue. Joey and Chandler were married now, and Monica and Pete soon would be. Rachel never thought so many of her friends would get married before her. Who would be next, Phoebe? Ross? Would Gunther and Janice suddenly elope?  
  
Monica picked up her wedding gown and tried it on in front of the girls. Rachel was happy for her, but she could hardly keep from crying. She tried to rush her relationship with Joshua, and just scared him off.  
  
***  
  
Now that Rachel was single again, Ross confessed that he loved her and wanted to get back together.  
  
Rachel said that she felt the same and hugged him. "Oh, and a word of warning. As Monica's wedding gets closer, I might freak out and say that I want to get married too. But, but, just ignore it, okay? I know that it's just too soon for us."  
  
Ross nodded. "Okay. And if I start to get possessive and worried about your career again, just tell me to stop it. I know you're not Sherry or Carol, and I'm going to trust you, okay?"  
  
"Okay." Rachel smiled, and they kissed for the first time since the night at the beach house.  
  
***  
  
Monica and Pete's wedding was spectacular, and Mrs. Geller couldn't find anything to criticize. Everything seemed to be going right with the world. Ross and Rachel were back together, Joey and Chandler were married, and Janice and Gunther were also adorable with Janice's little daughter in tow.  
  
All these happy couples started to depress Phoebe. Plus, she was suffering from moodiness, a small bladder, and other pregnancy woes because she had agreed to be a surrogate for Frank and Alice.  
  
Phoebe had even decided to move in with Rachel to have help with her pregnancy. Not that Rachel had much expertise with babies, but Ross did, and he would be around a lot. Plus, Joey and Chandler would be just across the hall, and Gunther would be downstairs in Central Perk, in case of an emergency.  
  
Not long after Phoebe moved in, she sat at Central Perk and suddenly saw a familiar face walk in. "David!"  
  
David the physicist was about to explain why he had returned to New York, and for how long, but he couldn't help noticing that Phoebe was pregnant. He was disappointed, but put on a brave face. "Who's the lucky father?"  
  
"My brother." She explained the situation, and he explained in return that he was back permanently because his three-year research stint in Minsk had wrapped up.  
  
"So, um, can I be your boyfriend again?"  
  
"Really? You want me when I'm all pregnant and yucky?"  
  
"You're beautiful," he answered. "I love you. And besides, I should get used to it, because someday you're gonna have my babies. At least, I hope so. I-I-I don't want to presume. I mean, I've been gone a long time--"  
  
She interrupted him with a kiss, and hugged him. "You're my lobster," she whispered.  
  
"Lobster?"  
  
"I'll explain later. Shh!"  
  
  
The End 


End file.
